


Fishcakes

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Can be read as a companion piece to Bad Idea or Shut Up and Ki(ss)dnap me, F/M, Hench-vent, Megamind has rectangular pupils because octopi, Minion is so done, New Relationship, Poor Minion, Stress Baking, Those Crazy Kids, everyone except Roxanne and Megamind knew this was coming, for henchmen (obviously), honeymoon period, is a stitch and bitch, little fishie is scarred for life, this is my headcanon and no one will take it from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: Minion is happy, he really is. Or he would be if his two bipeds would just keep their hands to themselves for five minutes...
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 148





	Fishcakes

**Author's Note:**

> So this can be read as a companion piece to Shut Up and Ki(ss)dnap me or Bad Idea because I have a theme at the moment apparently...  
> This fandom... honestly you guys are amazing...so much brilliance its giving me all the fic ideas...

When Minion finds out about Sir and Miss Ritchi he is thrilled. He is delighted. He is incandescent. He is a very happy little hench-fishie.

He just wished Sir and Miss Ritchi were slightly less _enthusiastic_...about their new...thing.

Its been four weeks and six attempted kidnappings since the Ignition as Minion has taken to calling it. Sir is now banned from collecting Miss Ritchi alone after Minion had to spend forty-five minutes circling her apartment block in the invisible car only to get a distracted "Kidnappings off Minion, go home" voice message as Miss Ritchi laughed in the background.

And Ee-vil gods help him he is becoming genuinely concerned whenever the three of them are in a room together that his bowl is going to spontaneously start boiling and he will be a very aggravated bowl of fish soup.

Bipeds. Honestly.

He'd been baking more and more elaborate kidnapping snacks in an effort to keep himself out of the main room lately. He'll pull the bag off Miss Ritchi's head, get a very nice but very distracted "Hi Minion how are you?" and then he might as well not exist for the next hour.

He left them alone the first kidnapping after the Ignition for just five minutes! Enough time for them to say hello to one another, maybe a kiss or whatever bipeds do to greet one another. 

Instead he comes back in and Sir was sitting on Miss Ritchi's lap! His hands were _in_ her _hair!_ And she was making an extremely inappropriate noise into his mouth.

Even worse the next week Sir had actually untied her and she had him pinned to the console of the lair as _she_ kissed _him_!

At least that those times Minion had been able to see Sir's hands.

Minion shook his fins and wished Sir had invented a brain scrubber. Today had been worst of all. He'd given them more than enough time, a whole hour before he knocked and waited and knocked again eventually kicking at the door which had swung open (seriously they hadn't even locked it?!) ...and there was the cape on the floor...and Miss Ritchi's heels...and Sir's gloves and they're in Sir's chair, Miss Ritchi is in Sir's lap this time, biting along his neck while his hand twists under her skirt and his pupils had opened fully across his irises and...

Minion had shut the door very quietly and gone back to the kitchen which is where he has been hiding for the last hour and three quarters.

He sighed, picking up the icing bag and started piping swirls over the three tiered cake shaped like a swarm of brain-bots.

He should just start a catering business. Joe from the bookies club had been very impressed when he brought his last offerings to the last Hench-vent and had been making noise about his daughter's upcoming birthday. He could call it Minion's Muffins...Hench's Hors D'oeurvres?

From the main lair there is a crash and a thump. Followed by a sudden scandalised yelp, a growl of warning and "Wayne! Get Out!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" and now Metro Man is hovering in the kitchen looking extremely awkward. Great.

Minion gave him a flat look then lets his shoulders slump and handed him a triple chocolate muffin with ganache icing.

"So they figured it out huh." Metro Man said around a mouthful of chocolate.

Minion rolled his eyes "What gave it away?"

"Took 'em long enough."

"Not long enough," Minion scowled, "Now they're making up for lost time."

Metro Man is looking at the brain-bot cake "Hey this is amazing!" he exclaimed "Do you do parties? My mother needs a centrepiece for the next charity gala"

"Aah...sure?" Might as well. Anything to get him out of the lair right now. There's clearly no evil plan going to be happening today.

"Excellent!"Metro-man grinned and shoved the rest of the muffin in his mouth, "I'll get her catering agent to give you a call." He eyes drifted to the rest of the muffins "Hey uh...?"

Minion hands him the tray.

"Thanks buddy" Metro Man hyper-accelerates and disappears.

Fishcakes, Minion decides, taking up a new bag of icing. He'll get cards made up tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> The end!


End file.
